could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
