drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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