dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ok first of all what the fuck
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