The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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