Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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