i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
