Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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