Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
