Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
