We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
