If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
