i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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