As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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