never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
