I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
