Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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