we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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