I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
