Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Operation Purity has been aborted
a search helicopter?!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
