weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
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How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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