I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
