i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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