i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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