I'm really into asian looking animals
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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