I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize