So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
