Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
