You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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