big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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