Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize