i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
