don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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