I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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