I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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