There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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