I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
