Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
