Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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