Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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