I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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