You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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