its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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