Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
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