where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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