R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You can't motorboat a personality
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
