Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
