I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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