is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
