I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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