is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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