Swine flu. Run for my life!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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