hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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