remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
