just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So here I am, sexting at work.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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