Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
