remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
