booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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