He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
