I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
