how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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