oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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