In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
