I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize