Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
