she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
