Don't you send me to vm
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
