So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
