You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize