How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
