Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
