it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
