literally had 100 drinks last night.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
