if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
