well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
