Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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