You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
